Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Not so Invisible

First let me just say, yesterday was so fun! I love getting completely lost and utterly involved in crafty/artsy/creative projects! And to my delight that is exactly what my job consisted of yesterday. I spent the greater part of the day designing a flyer to be handed out on an industrial property tour my boss is hosting (sounds more boring than it is) I've never worked with Microsoft Publisher until yesterday but wow... what an awesome program :)

Pastor Barry's message Sunday was awesome. Sunday started off so peaceful, getting up earlier enough to get ready make breakfast AND make coffee before church. The sunshine was out and I woke up knowing it was going to be a great day.

Reflecting on that message I realize I've had quite a few invisible hand of God moments in my life. Relying on the Lord when my dad had a liver transplant 6 years ago and both parents were in Portland for 2 1/2 months, sure my mom came home on weekends to cook food for the week or go grocery shopping but for the most part those 2 1/2 months my brother and I took care of each other. All that to say, my dad got "the call" that it was time for the transplant just 3 days after my 16th birthday. It may not sound like a lot, but the Lord new exactly what he was doing. It absolutely was NOT coincidence that on January 26th I turned old enough to drive my brother to and from school and church by myself without having to rely on other relatives to take care of us. What a blessing. Aside from the strength God provided my family throughout the whole process, that small detail is one I cherish and look back on and thank the Lord.

Meeting James was a big invisible hand of God moment. For crying out loud we met on MySpace! I was sitting in my apartment all by myself, my roomates were out doing other things. I got bored and MySpace was still fairly new and novel, so as I was searching around for cutie fire fighter students at Chemeketa lo and behold who did I stumble onto? None other than James Patrick Ward. His picture caught me right away, there he was coming out of a fire dressed in his cute yellow turnouts. As I read his profile where he spoke in detail about his faith in the Lord and who he was as a person, I began feeling compelled to send him a message. Nothing cheap or shallow, just a quick message thanking him for his encouraging words. Little did I know God were begin the Love story of our lives from that message, beginning to intertwine our heart strings over the course of 9 months before we ever even had a chance to shake hands. WOW.

More recently (three weeks ago) I again experienced God's hand in a very powerful way and to me this time, not so invisible. Playing in the river with family and friends, following the current, laughing and having a good time soon turned into the scariest moment of my life when for a split second I "knew" it would be the day I died, drowning in the Trask River. I'd never felt so helpless and completely alone then I did being rushed down those rapids. Finally ending in a deep pool, spinning in circles I'm actually a little ashamed. The first scene that my mind played through was that of an episode of Grey's Anatomy I'd seen months before, when Grey jumps into the bay after a tragic ferry accident. She hadn't been invovled in the accident yet she wound up in the bay and there she was, on the screen trying to swim until all of a sudden she just "lets go" and nearly drowns. Now of course she's the main character, the show is named after her for crying out loud, she can't die. But I certainly could have. the split second following that memory was my own self saying "Sarah NO, you WILL NOT drown. You WILL keep swimming until your arms and legs fall off you will. It was in that moment I began internally crying out to God. "Lord I can't do it, I just can't! I can't continue to tread here, short of breath and all alone. Please God, open my eyes to a ledge, a branch, a rock anything Father, I need something to hold on to." Wow, the second I prayed that prayer God answered me and literally my eyes were opened to the ONLY space on the 7ft tall smooth rock wall I could have held to. "Thank you Jesus!!!" Once I had hold of that, and then saw my friend Ryan and James coming to my rescue I knew I would make it. By the grace of God.

Finally Saturday, James and his father went out for a drive, they thought they'd go exploring. What they didn't expect was to almost get into a huge accident at 50mph and almost roll his explorer literally 5 times. I haven't seen the tire tracks on the road, and you'll have to ask James for the details. but Praise God he is okay!

Reflecting on all of this I realize just how much I have to be thankful for. Even the small daily things.

Thank You God, for your invisible hand in our lives every day.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


Kesh.. I love Vin's cd! I put it on the computer at work and we leave it on repeat. sets a calm mood at the office, very refreshing.

Speaking of refreshed. Today is good, I love those mornings when I'm the first to the office coffee in hand and have a few minutes before anyone else arrives to just relax. Check my email and check the office phone messages, just starts my day off on the right foot. I used to get to work at least 15-20 minutes earlier and sit in my car reading my bible before work. I need to do that again. I'm thankful for the weather today too. Overcast but a nice change. I normally don't like gross overcast weather but I'm just in the mood today! Maybe because I'm a little tired who knows.

James and I are praying about taking over the Mid-High Wednesday night Bible study and being leaders.. which is a huge thing. The hard part for me is searching my heart and listening to God to see if it's something He wants for James and I right now. I would love to jump right in and say 'yes of course!' but I don't want to be just another 'warm body' if we do this, we're in it. I'm nervous though, would we be stronger leaders if we were married? is it too much to take on while James is still in school??

My life feels a bit like it's in limbo right now. So in love with James and longing to be married!! seeing most my friends engaged, married, or married with children sometimes it's hard not to get jealous. I must remind myself of God's goodness for my life, and how he takes care of me even in times I don't notice or realize it was His hand. I truly KNOW that when the time is right God WILL provide funds, time, everything for us to move to that new and exciting phase in our lives. and oh what a party when He provides!! :)

Thank you Jesus

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

To Be with Myself and Center

whew.. today.. well. After inspiration from my newly found good friend Kesha! Here I am. My first blog :) I'm looking forward to a place to put my thoughts.

yesterday and today have been interesting to say the least. I've been a bit frustrated with the work I've been doing. It's lots of data entry and not much of what I thought commercial real estate would be about. Not that I'm trying to whine, although, this is my blog, so maybe I'm allowed a little whine.

One of my dreams is to someday own my own business. Ideally I'd love to own a little wedding/event planning business. Or a coffee shop (I realize that sounds cliche) but mine would be different! Does anyone know people in the business of event planning???